REGRETS

Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?

Up until recently I have had too many regrets.But to carry every single regret every single day of my existence was too cumbersome? Too much weight to carry. I just put all into a box marked “PAST”. Then placed the box in the garage up on a rafter. GONE

To carry so much of things I could never change is too much weight upon my shoulders. It felt like I was free once I said goodbye to the box. There are still a few more regrets I am working through….

The camcorder along with several 8mm tapes containing videos of my kids is almost ready. I regret having them so why keep anything related? Then maybe that regret still needs work? They were a selfish decision on my part. I regret not actually going through with the appointments to terminate for 2 of 3. Onl 1 was actually planned……. I have lived in the pain of rejection of 2 because of the ONE who is mentally ill. The 2 blame me for her crazy despite she is an adult. They made the decision to remain away from me because od any relationship I may have with the crazy one. Yet after her last episode I said “NO MORE”. Remain away from the crazy because she has motives. Like my house, car and belongings? She did that once… but twice? Not happening. Everything about her is a regret?

So I guess my only regret I is having children because it was a very selfish self centered choice on my part. Regrets are all I have….and that stupid camera with the tapes. I said I was going to give it to a friend to dispose of. As of yet I have not. Another regret? Once I let go of the camera and tapes the regret will also be gone. I hope??

The stretch marks are forever.