TODAY IS AN ANNIVERSARY

Today is February 25, 2026. It’s the anniversary of my sister Mary’s death at age 14. She died from myocarditis, an inflammation of her heart. She had her entire life ahead of her. Boys. High School. Sleep Overs and everything else in a teen’s life in 1972.

But life had other plans. It made my parents purchase their own graves. Five plots for a family of 8 if they were planning ahead. Now there are both parents along with 2 sisters. Mary and a daughter still born in 1974.

Funny how a conversation can turn serious. Last night i asked my husband “do you think my sister’s will look the same? Will Mary still be 14 and wearing the same white dress she was buried in or will she have grown into her real age only to die again…..Now my brother is with our parents I’m mad because I wanted to be the first one. Wanted to spend time with the fam up there. Alone!

What about your mother? Will she still have dementia. Will I still be her caregiver? Your Dad? What about the cancer? I don’t want to see him lying in a hospital bed with a tube down her nose. I had dreams about him after he died,,,nightmares because he died a very painful death. Once I promised to care for his wife he left us that night. He asked and it took me awhile to agree. It was not because i already knew but because I knew when I told his yes that he would pass.

Death is the biggest unknown? In my life I learned by seeing my sister dead and my mother screaming “she is not breathing” as she desperately attempted to breathe into her mouth. CPR was not a thing in 1972. I feared my own kids would die early. I constantly checked to see if they were alive. The worst form of worry is living imagining that death would strike my babies?