DEATH

What are you most worried about for the future?

Yes all things written here are alleged and my own opinion. 😇😏👌

After the death of my mother a lightness of all her negative and lies I lived through ended. The truth, MY truth beginning at age 12 can now be shared. No child who was molested should be forced to remain silent. Words can heal. Silence will kill.

Will I be missed? Yes. I have formed a perfect life free of family. My friends are the best remedy. Love and laughter without those who need to bring others down to their level of gravel. It is ok to let those go especially when they hurt you for their own egotistical needy self

What I realize happens to all of us, death. As I approach it I have regrets but I also have happiness I never thought would happened. My fear was always a ruthless bully…..we will leave the name or relation out. If you know me I have written about my past and growing up in a home with a crazy ass mentally ill mother. It’s taken years and a ton of therapy to deal with it.

BUT NOW after my mother’s death I feel a lightness in my soul. I also feel the weight lifted of her overshadowing of my life with lies about me. She lied in order to keep to keep the truth silent. I was the truth teller silenced by her.

I see the one who was protected by her is now just a nothing. He needs ME to get what he wants. His lies went straight to his point of neediness of a child. When we were kids he always got what he wanted. If he didn’t the toy disappeared or was destroyed. The car I drove was disabled as his way of showing me who was higher in the hierarchy. Currently I am in top spot of the people he needs to be nice to.

The game of THEATER began by giving me a red rose 🌹 at mother’s funeral was umm sketchy. Because no one can go from hate to “love” without a reason. As much as I wanted to believe him I knew that it was just a twisted game. Why? Because if it was real I would have gotten more 🌹🌹🌹🌹

What truly gave his false action away was his wife. I mentioned about the way the entire family rode in 2 limousines during our father’s funeral procession. Why was I forced to drive, following them after the hearse? It did not go unnoticed by other relatives. Yet his wife said she can’t discuss things about her husband. OK sure but the correct answer if he (and she as his spouse) should have been something to the effect of how it shouldn’t have happened like that. Any words of regret….BUT it still was done in spite hoping to humiliate me by the family. They did it to show the world how much they thought of me. Unfortunately that will always follow them. Bullies never change. Their actions were met with words of support shared with me of how much others, those who saw this and thought differently now. Their actions were intended to hurt me but it did the opposite because I realized exactly how much love I truly had.

Going from trying to humiliate me at one parent’s funeral to trying to show how much love he had by giving me a rose at our mother’s burial. I glanced at my sister *Dr Paula the fake shrink to see her face showing the act had been preplanned. Except the other sister *too nasty to be on TLC’s hoarder’s show, was almost losing her nasty face. They should have umm practiced their lines better? In fact if my siblings had all pretended to feel the same way….happy to be one lovable family again….things might have been different. The only one pretending had a single act play. He didn’t understand the second act was missing along with the supporting actors.

When one stands to gain financially their actions should always be suspect. Bully-Boy was transparent because I saw right through him because of his wife’s actions and words.

I have to wonder if my father’s last words to me of encouragement in keeping the land for myself were his premonition? He knew by adding me into the estate equally as the other 4 siblings was his trick of cards? They did not know it because bully-boy had plenty of time to bring my demented mother to any lawyer to slice me out. Yet he didn’t…… that speaks volumes.

My intentions to be a full acting partner by collecting monetarily from the solar farm have been made. Why on earth would I sell the land to bully-boy for $40 per acre? However the responsibility of the trustee has become suspect? Time is ticking?

OK I do have more info. Nothing is sacred in life forever?

I’m saving it for my book. 🌹✌️

All content contained within this post and blog is my opinion and alleged.